So with all the formalities of an invitation figured out I hope to see all of you sneaking in using fake credentials or dressing up as security or pushing a dumpster. A gurney and a couple of white out fits will get a group of three in. Pull any string you can to make it to this show because this is where you will see all the coolest stuff for next year. Some stuff you will never see any where else like some of the smaller manufacturing companies. Apprilla had the neatest bikes and display last year in Cincinnati, it was fun just to stand back and watch the buzz of the crowd as they ogled the Apprilla booth.

On top of all the cool stuff there are plenty of cool people who attend like my heroes Malcomb Smith and Dick Burelson, Tom Webb, Franco Acerbis, the Racer X dancers, Danny Laporte was there last year, Gary Nixon, Ron Ribolzi, the list could just go on but you get the idea. Now that we are all gathered together what are we going to do? I’ll help, here are some of my personal favorite places to visit in Indianapolis.

First off and foremost would have to be the Red Garter Lounge Indianapolis’s oldest gentlemen’s show club in business since 1935. The girls have been updated and this may become the press headquarters during the event. 437 S. Illinois St.

Another evening hot spot would be the Slippery Noodle Inn. Our towns oldest bar, located at 372 S Meridian. At the corner of South St. and Meridian. On the 21^st they have planned the King Snakes and on the 22^nd the Frank Jordan Group out of Chicago, regardless the Noodle has Blues 7 days a week.

The old Union Station train depot is directly across the street from the convention center and has a dozen bars. Circle City Mall is right there too and they have a bunch of bars and clubs. I can’t recommend one over another here as they are kinda trendy pick up bars attracting south side hillbillies with no real deep charisma. Most of the down town area will be chain operated make a buck kind of bars, and you really need to take a cab ride north to the Broadripple area to find classic watering holes.

Have the cabby drop you off at 52^nd and Collage. This is the Red Key Tavern, it is famous because Kurt Vonegett used to hang out there, he is famous for writing such classics as Slaughter House Five and his latest Time Quake. Also the Dan Wakefield movie “Going All the Way” was partially filmed in the Red Key. That was then now it is known for being the easiest bar in town to get thrown out of. Then walk two blocks north on Collage to the Bulldog Lounge. It’s famous for me throwing up on the floor in the least discrete way, emptied the place, every body mad at me.

Right next door to the Bull Dog is Moe and Johnny’s and the Cornerstone Café and they serve good coffee so if you need a little jab before moving across the street to the Jazz Kitchen.

Catch another cab or walk the mile north on Collage to Broadripple proper. Now the Vogue and the Patio are the biggest live music clubs in the hood and C T Peppers has live music too.

Most of the Bars on the main drag don’t totally appeal to me, I prefer the more hidden cubby hole type joints like the Cas-Bah (loads of women) or the Blue Point (chicks). The Wellington and Union Jacks ore both nice traditional English pubs. The Broadripple Brew pub has the best beers in town. The Out Back is the punk bar and there is a cigar bar upstairs. Finnish your evening in one of two places either the Alley Cat, where throwing up on the floor is not frowned on or Conners Pub. Conners is best, experienced only need apply.

This should be enough for one evening, cab it back down town and get some rest.

In the morning coffee is a must and the Omni Hotel has a real coffee bar or 10West Bakery and Café, it’s at 10 w. Market St. (about 2 blocks north of the convention center.

If you get claustrophobia take a short hike across White River to the Indianapolis Zoo, I enjoy the Zoo, a few years ago my girlfriend got to go with the Zoo to Alaska to collect baby walrus’s orphaned after the parents were killed by Eskimo hunters. They came home tiny, maybe 35 or 40 pounds and I’ve got to watch the baby Walrus grow from babies to behemoths over a few years.

There is the Eiteljorg museum featuring American Indian history and the IMAX theater right there next to the Zoo. Not far from down town is the Indianapolis Children’s Museum and they have cool laser shows set to music in the planetarium in the evening. Then you could head over to the Rathskeller for some authentic German food in a totally cool old building, tell the cabby 401 E. Michigan. Once you are in this area there are a bunch of art galleries and a couple of cool bars. The Chatterbox has live Jazz and is a hole in the wall that attracts newspaper people because it is located near by. Bazbeaux Pizza is in this area too, they deliver and I recommend it. 334 Massachusetts Av. 636-7662

A good Mexican restaurant is Acapulco Joe’s at 365 N Illinois, they are not the best, the best Mexican in town is Casuela’s at 8311 N Michigan Road, here I recommend the Enchiladas Suzias. They start with marinated chunks of chicken grilled, rolled in corn tortillas then covered with a green Chile sauce with a special crème cheese topping, to die for.

For exercise bring your ice skates and the Pan-Am plaza is right next door. I’m not sure if Dave Bertram is going to promote another Ride to Win hockey game but if you are interested contact him at INSERT NUMBER. The Indianapolis Athletic Club offers short time memberships for those of you who must exercise. 634-4331

Dark Armies has paint ball games within walking distance and Stefan Johansson owns an indoor go cart track at 3649 Lafayette Rd. 297-5278 or there are go carts at Post Road Recreation Center at 4700 N Post road 897-7908.

Indianapolis has some famous motorcycle shops like Southside Harley Davidson down town at 701 S Meridian. Dreyer Honda was the home of Pop Dreyer and is famous for being like the first or the oldest Honda Dealership in the country. They are at 4152 W. Washington St. Right down the street from Dreyers is Stoughtons Cycle, they are a Trail Rider Magazine and Mooch dealer, so stop and shop.

The Indianapolis 500 Speedway is not far from down town and has a great museum and you can even get a ride around the track, I’ve done it on a 250 Husky, including the golf course inside the track, no shit.

Busy busy busy, and on top of all this Trail Rider and Mooch plan on hosting some sort of party, Acerbis and Great Dave’s have both pledged sponsorship and we are hoping for others to join in the fun. Seek us out for your personal invitation because we have no idea what is going to happen this early.