Photo by Ken King and stolen from Cycle News

The 58^th running of the Alligator Enduro has been deemed complete and New Jersey quick guy Wally Palmer took the win followed by KTM factory man Russell Bobbit.

Everything else about the race is a complete mystery. We know there were some people that did finish the race, but there were also some people that are missing and presumed eaten by alligators. The exact number of people missing is a mystery since the man in charge of sign up and his laptop are also missing and presumed eaten.

Race officials are quite certain that there are at least 4.625 people eaten since they found the left radiator of a ‘03 KTM 200, the front half of a ‘08 Husaberg 450 (including footpegs), the rear fender of a Kawasaki KX 250F (year unknown), most of an ‘05 KTM 250 EXC, and a couple of knobs off a Kenda Millville Sticky. The exact details of all this is quite sketchy since the communications director was entered in the race and was riding an ‘08 Husaberg 450. He has not been heard from since the begining of the race.

All of the hardships of this race are due to the alligator revolt that has been going on for a few weeks. It is believed that Cuban Nationals have been supporting the alligators with the fresh tuna and starfish. More details to follow if they become available.

* The upcoming Crocodile Hare Scramble may be postponed.

*All details are deemed inaccurate unless someone proves them to be accurate.

*No alligators or Cuban Nationals were harmed in the writing of this fictitious account of the race.