Trail Rider Magazine

Bikes Explained

February 2nd, 2008 · No Comments

Ever wonder how people see you while riding your bike?

This list is brought to us by Roscoe

joevoight.JPG

Oh, yea, if you are coming from the
magazine looking for the 06 Endurocross
article, it's over on the right, click and read.
1 Ducati 916 SPS monoposto: ———-My wife is
having an affair with her tennis coach.
2 Honda ST1100:——— I really do understand the
stock market.
3 1967 Triumph T120 Bonneville ———-If I’d had
this bike instead of a Cushman Eagle when I lived at
the fraternity house in 1965, I might now be married
to a former cheerleader named Veronica.
4 Harley-Davidson XR1000 ———All my left shoes
are made of steel, and all my motorcycle boots have
laces.
5 Yamaha TZ250 ———My other bike is a van.
6 Brough Superior SS100 ———-My mother was an
Episcopalian.
7 Moto Guzzi Eldorado ———-If I’d wanted a
Harley, I’d have bought a Harley. But I didn’t, and I
didn’t.
8 Honda GL1500 Gold Wing Aspencade ———-The wife
and I both feel that donuts are an unfairly maligned
and under-appreciated source of protein and minerals.
9 BMW R1100RT ———-The sound system on my bike is
permanently tuned to Public Radio, but when I play it
too loud I can’t hear the cell phone.
10 Velocette Thruxton ———I have a
professional-quality dartboard in our basement rec
room, next to the real ale tapper on the wet bar.
11 Yamaha V-Max ——–I am the only mechanical
engineer in our office with a Mohawk hair cut.
12 Ural Tourist ———My Yugo is waiting for parts.
13 India Enfield Bullet ——–My 1965
short-wheelbase Land Rover is waiting for parts. [how
did he know this ?]
14 Triumph Speed Triple ——I’m not waiting for any
parts. Ever again.
15 Honda Elite 80 ———My mom is knitting me a
warmer scarf for going to class.
16 Vincent Series C Black Shadow——– If you need
to borrow any books or videos on the Battle of
Britain, the life of Winston Churchill or Gordon’s
defense of t Khartoum, I have an extensive library.
17 Honda CBX ——–I can pronounce both “Soichiro”
and “Irimagiri” correctly. Also I own many valve
shims.
18 Suzuki TL1000R —–Desmo Shcmezmo: I just wanna
ride.
19 MV Agusta 750S ——-Our firstborn son is the only
Ago Schmiddlekopf in the Milwaukee phone book.
20 Kawasaki ZX-11 ——I am on my way to our
insurance agent’s office for a personal conference,
during which I will explain everything.
21 Honda 400F ———-My husband thinks I believe he
bought this bike just for me.
22 Suzuki GSX1300R Hayabusa ——-The Honda CBR1100XX
was making me late for work.
23 Triumph Trophy TR6-C ——-I have seen “The Great
Escape“, starring Steve McQueen 27 times. And so have
my two remaining friends.
24 Munch Mammoth ———I have been fighting a
lifelong, losing battle with the Dark Side.
25 Honda CBR600F2 ———-My older brother is in the
Air Force.
26 Pope 998 V-Twin ———-I am on my way to the
annual stationary steam engine and vintage farm
implement meet.
27 Norton 750 Atlas ——I tried smooth and found it
overrated.
28 Harley-Davidson WLA 45 Flathead ———I am
saving for a Stearman.
29 1942 BMW R75 ———-I show the Luger collection
only to a few close friends who know how to handle
them without leaving acidic or salty fingerprints
30 Harley FX Super Glide “Night Train”: ——There
are only six things in my refrigerator, and they are
all beer.
31 Henderson Four ———–My grandson thinks these
computers are quite the coming thing, apparently.
32 Yamaha R1 ——-My hair is not actually on fire,
it’s just a figure of speech.
33 Maico 360 X4——– Since the bypass surgery, my
dirt riding and energy level have improved
tremendously.
34 Bimota DB3Mantra——– Ducatis are all very well,
but I don’t find them quite Italian enough.
35 Moto Guzzi Centauro ———–Sometimes I misspell
the word “eccentric” on purpose, just to be different.
36 Whizzer/Schwinn Phantom: ——–I still own my
first baseball glove, Warren Spahn-autograph model.
37 Boss Hoss V8 ——–I can curl more weight with
one arm than you can move on a refrigerator dolly.
38 MV Agusta F4 Oro ———My wife is spending
exactly $37,000 on our kitchen, just as soon as she
can find a contractor.
39 Honda Valkyrie I tried vibration and lassitude and
found them overrated.
40 Harley-Davidson 883 Sportster ———-I am on my
way to the Harley shop to purchase a larger set of
pistons.
41 Buell Thunderbolt ——-This big air-cleaner
housing is coming right off, just as soon as I can get
home to my toolbox.
42 Honda CL77 305 Scrambler ———My high school
letter jacket still fits. More or less.

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